The Battle Of Barton

Everyone knows the way but very few walk it… was the strapline attached to Joey Barton’s Twitter account last week.

It’s fitting that on the same day that everyone involved with Newcastle United Football Club could celebrate a successful season, ex-Magpie Barton had what would be the most shameful day in the life of every professional footballer other than he himself.

Although I have dedicated some page space to the unworthy Scouser in a blog that at this time of year should be 100% about NUFC, I must tell you I found it very difficult not to highlight this latest episode in his self-starring series of comedy gold.

To paint just a small picture of what happened on the closing day of the season, Mr. Barton took to a physical off-the-ball tussle with the equally loved Carlos Tevez in a fixture which would ultimately determine the league title for Manchester City and/or relegation for Queens Park Rangers.

This led to the QPR captain retaliating in typical fashion with the execution of a high elbow smash into the face of the Argentinean.

The MCFC man fell to the floor before referee Mike Dean went straight for his back pocket brandishing the shiniest of red cards for Barton, who then blew a head gasket by kneeing the disgruntled Sergio Aguero to the deck and pressing the self destruct button by trying to head butt Vincent Kompany on his drawn out exit from the field.

Brilliant scenes were to commence as the ever-reliable Mario Balotelli flew off the substitutes bench to confront his ‘Village Idiot’ title contender but muscle man Micah Richards continued his Joey frog march down the tunnel to prevent a sight for sore eyes.

The above led to @joey7barton publically attacking Alan Shearer following his nothing more than expected comments on Match of the Day which provoked a tweeted defence delivered by Gary Lineker who was later labeled by Barton as an ‘odious toad’.

Just to clarify AS9 has a Premier League winner’s medal, 260 PL goals and an OBE. Joey Barton has a Twitter account, dodgy hair cut and record of imprisonment.

End of chapter.

Thrown To The Wolves

Yesterday's home tie against Woverhampton Wanderers has been playing over and over in my mind ever since the final whistle.

I cannot make sense of the events that took place during the game.

After 45 minutes of nothing less than total domination from the black and white striped shirts, half time arrived and Alan Pardew delivered his second briefing of the day to a team who were leading 2-0 courtesy of Papiss Cisse and Jonas Gutierrez.

From there on, the only explanation for what happened between the 45 and 75 minute mark is that the two teams swapped shirts (disregarding the possibility that Wolves gaffer Terry Connor's first ever half time team talk was miraculous).

Wanderers' winger Matt Jarvis cut inside from the left flank on 50 minutes before finessing a shot that took a dipping deflection off Toon right back Danny Simpson prior to planting in the back far corner of the net.

It is a pity that Simpson didn't have the bravery to open up his body and block the shot as Fabricio Coloccini or Steven Taylor would have because if he had, the ball would have ricocheted away from danger.

Newcastle's change in fortune cannot tagged as unlucky.

If there's one thing someone in professional football should know then it is to avoid making a substitution just before defending a set-piece.

Thus the fuel to my frustration after witnessing Pardew proceed with the intended double change after conceding a freekick 25 yards out. I still cannot believe that the tactical swap wasn't halted until the danger was neutralised.

I'm not disputing that the Magpies needed to rehash their strategy but Pardew takes all responsibility for the equalising goal which was crossed into the box and knocked down before being poked over the line by Wolves' Kevin Doyle.

It is evidence to all that the introduction of one or more substitutes can provoke an unorganised ethos amongst a set-piece defending team.

Danny Guthrie chasing shadows.

Unfortunately Danny Guthrie's entry to the field on the 65 minute mark saw him perform without the same energy or nature that has been seen in recent weeks and he made a range of wayward passes that became increasingly uncomfortable to watch.

It was positive to see the squad nearly back to full strength, the return of Cheik Tiote, Cisse on the scoresheet and Gutierrez lash in a thunderbolt.

Pardew has proven himself to be an intelligent man and this continued in the post-match interview when putting a clever spin onto the flavour of the questioning by plucking out a positive that was to add to the team's four match winning streak at home, albeit that started nine games ago!

Match of the Day football fans are made only aware of the highlights and passages of play that the BBC Director wishes to broadcast and unfortunately this can be misleading.

The match was not relayed to viewers accurately as to how the goals and game was thrown to the Wolves to feast on taking the bones of a point back to Molineaux with them.