MAGnificent

Newcastle United Football Club has delivered a season packed with everything the footballing world loves:

Goals, underdog victories, charisma, star players, team spirit, controversy, surprises and becoming somewhat a likeable club to neutral football fans.

As a NUFC supporter, I would prefer the club to be successful and disliked rather than unsuccessful and liked, however the 2011/12 campaign churned out an acceptable compromise for the Toon Army faithful.

With only Manchester City, Manchester United, Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur resting on us in the league table, great pleasure can be taken and the team can be proud to have finished above Chelsea, Everton, Liverpool and notably S*nd*rl*nd.

Predatory Senegalese pair Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse have been the talk of the town and further afield for the right reasons after scoring 29 Premier League goals between them. What joy it’s been to see true goal getters once again spearheading the attack.

Fabricio Coloccini, Yohan Cabaye, Tim Krul, Cheick Tiote and Jonas Gutierrez have had season-long performances worthy of a standing ovation, whereas the return of Hatem Ben Arfa served up the ‘get off your seat’ factor for fans throughout the second-half of the season.

The transfer triangle team of Manager Alan Pardew, Chief Scout Graham Carr and the cash of owner Mike Ashley can be thanked for a big part of the team’s successes but in particular Pardew, who waded through the aftermath of the disappointment from Chris Hughton’s departure to win over all his doubters.

An articulate man with a vision.

AP can coach, motivate players, speak to the media and tell the truth – four things that are rarely combined within a club never mind one individual.

The club’s hierarchy has been better received over the last nine months despite the near criminal blip that saw the North East’s most popular church renamed as the Sports Direct Arena @ St. James’ Park.

Although this will never be forgiven, I can allow for some Ashley breathing space since learning the business model he has so far deployed for the good of the club.

Ploughing millions of hard earned pounds into the club clearing debts also clears the way for shoehorning his advertising venture (that said I’m disappointed that the club shop has been revamped and now mirrors that of the Sports Direct chain). 

From mixing in with the fans sporting his ‘Smith 14’ replica shirt in the Gallowgate End to sitting in the Corporate Area for games, Mr. Sports Direct has been forced to stay off-the-radar, a journey that led Cashley to frantically putting the club up for sale two years ago.

But in fairness to the plastic Geordie, he screened every potential buyer, their intentions and future plans for the club - a job that should have been processed by the Premier League was undertaken from within and for one reason or another Ashley felt it inappropriate to pass on the baton, something I have no problem with.

And no I haven’t been paid off by the man himself to write the above. If I had been, there’d be a hyperlink to his online shop here.

The biggest highlight of the season is a toss-up between the terror enforced on Manchester United in the 3-0 home win back in January or the witnessing of Mackem Slayer Shola Ameobi equalizing in the 92^nd minute to deny Sunderland a win behind enemy lines.

NUFC’s goal of the season is unanimously Papiss Cisse’s unexpected and unconventional half-volley that flew off the outside of his right boot from wide left at Stamford Bridge, an execution that left Petr Cech rooted to the spot as it swerved above him into the far top right-hand corner.

HBA’s two wonder goals scored after driving dribbles, creativity, trickery and a touch of magic would win any competition in normal circumstances but Cisse’s meteoric rise to the top was matched by his worldy strike.

So what for next term? Well we’re back in Europe albeit having to play Thursday then Sunday every week to be on Channel 5 and analysed by John Barnes but…

…as told by Pardew himself today, “This year, I’m sure we’ll say something like, 'We’re looking for a top-eight finish, hopefully attack one of the cups and have a great run in Europe.'"

The Battle Of Barton

Everyone knows the way but very few walk it… was the strapline attached to Joey Barton’s Twitter account last week.

It’s fitting that on the same day that everyone involved with Newcastle United Football Club could celebrate a successful season, ex-Magpie Barton had what would be the most shameful day in the life of every professional footballer other than he himself.

Although I have dedicated some page space to the unworthy Scouser in a blog that at this time of year should be 100% about NUFC, I must tell you I found it very difficult not to highlight this latest episode in his self-starring series of comedy gold.

To paint just a small picture of what happened on the closing day of the season, Mr. Barton took to a physical off-the-ball tussle with the equally loved Carlos Tevez in a fixture which would ultimately determine the league title for Manchester City and/or relegation for Queens Park Rangers.

This led to the QPR captain retaliating in typical fashion with the execution of a high elbow smash into the face of the Argentinean.

The MCFC man fell to the floor before referee Mike Dean went straight for his back pocket brandishing the shiniest of red cards for Barton, who then blew a head gasket by kneeing the disgruntled Sergio Aguero to the deck and pressing the self destruct button by trying to head butt Vincent Kompany on his drawn out exit from the field.

Brilliant scenes were to commence as the ever-reliable Mario Balotelli flew off the substitutes bench to confront his ‘Village Idiot’ title contender but muscle man Micah Richards continued his Joey frog march down the tunnel to prevent a sight for sore eyes.

The above led to @joey7barton publically attacking Alan Shearer following his nothing more than expected comments on Match of the Day which provoked a tweeted defence delivered by Gary Lineker who was later labeled by Barton as an ‘odious toad’.

Just to clarify AS9 has a Premier League winner’s medal, 260 PL goals and an OBE. Joey Barton has a Twitter account, dodgy hair cut and record of imprisonment.

End of chapter.