The Battle Of Barton

Everyone knows the way but very few walk it… was the strapline attached to Joey Barton’s Twitter account last week.

It’s fitting that on the same day that everyone involved with Newcastle United Football Club could celebrate a successful season, ex-Magpie Barton had what would be the most shameful day in the life of every professional footballer other than he himself.

Although I have dedicated some page space to the unworthy Scouser in a blog that at this time of year should be 100% about NUFC, I must tell you I found it very difficult not to highlight this latest episode in his self-starring series of comedy gold.

To paint just a small picture of what happened on the closing day of the season, Mr. Barton took to a physical off-the-ball tussle with the equally loved Carlos Tevez in a fixture which would ultimately determine the league title for Manchester City and/or relegation for Queens Park Rangers.

This led to the QPR captain retaliating in typical fashion with the execution of a high elbow smash into the face of the Argentinean.

The MCFC man fell to the floor before referee Mike Dean went straight for his back pocket brandishing the shiniest of red cards for Barton, who then blew a head gasket by kneeing the disgruntled Sergio Aguero to the deck and pressing the self destruct button by trying to head butt Vincent Kompany on his drawn out exit from the field.

Brilliant scenes were to commence as the ever-reliable Mario Balotelli flew off the substitutes bench to confront his ‘Village Idiot’ title contender but muscle man Micah Richards continued his Joey frog march down the tunnel to prevent a sight for sore eyes.

The above led to @joey7barton publically attacking Alan Shearer following his nothing more than expected comments on Match of the Day which provoked a tweeted defence delivered by Gary Lineker who was later labeled by Barton as an ‘odious toad’.

Just to clarify AS9 has a Premier League winner’s medal, 260 PL goals and an OBE. Joey Barton has a Twitter account, dodgy hair cut and record of imprisonment.

End of chapter.